Last night I was scrolling Insta and came across a friend who shares mostly bikini photos and ways to change your body.
Read Moretrigger warning: eating disorders/body dysmorphia/excessive exercise 👉🏼 Several times in my life I have embarked on a “lifestyle change” with the hopes of finally feeling worthy. Each of those times, I’d get more and more addicted to the control I had, so where exercise should have been done for joy, and eating done for nutrition and enjoyment... instead everything was done from a place of hate, disgust, and punishment.
There were times I would exercise 3 hours a day. I’d only eat protein shakes for most of my meals and I’d log EVERYTHING. I’d weigh morning and night, measure every body part daily and keep the measurements at my bedside in a notebook.
I LOVE having depression and anxiety - says no one ever.
It’s taken me a really long time to realize that I even had anxiety & depression, and I truly feel that part of that is due to the stigma around mental health.
Snapped this a few weekends ago. We’re a mess. But these are my people. 🖤
Last year I started stepping away from conversations surrounding anything other than compassion and love for others. I decided that I don’t have the time or energy to spend on people who wouldn’t do the same for me. But this has been my whole life... searching for...
I fought it for so long. I thought if I started medication again (after being on it for 8 years, then going off for 5) I’d be admitting to being a failure.
Read MoreMental health update: I’m sharing this publicly because it’s important that we
break the mental health stigma.
After a month long bout of deep depression, having no desire to eat, and other things... I am honestly feeling amazing this week.
It’s #worldmentalhealthday 🖤 I’ve always been stubborn, and I’ve always been a hustler. I thrive off of productivity and accomplishments - most of the time. But honestly? There are days when I can barely get out of bed. No one knows it, not even my family... mostly because I have kids and that’s quite frankly not an option.
So I push through. And I make it happen on the bad days. And it’s exhausting.
#deardiary // This was me yesterday... happy. But today... it feels like I’m fighting my way out of a deep dark hole. Last night, a wave of depression came over me but I wrote it off as coming down with something and went to bed early.
Read MoreI finally get it. I finally know now that I don’t have to live in a constant state of chaos, feeling like I’m drowning all the time. I finally know that I’ll be able to look back at this time with peace and happiness, knowing I was able to enjoy these times with my kids.
Read MoreIf you've been following me for awhile, you may have noticed that back in January/February, I was pumpin' out content for the blog on the regular. My Instagram posts were consistent and I was starting to work with some big brands. Cut to - early March, and suddenly I went MIA. I started resurfacing in April/May, but let me assure you - that was all a front. It wasn't until June that I felt normal again. Here's what was really going on during that time.
Read MoreHere are a few small, but impactful lifestyle changes I've made in 2018 so far, and you can do them too!
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