My Stomach Story

For as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted was a flat stomach.⁣
I avoided pool parties as early as middle school. I would spend the evenings secretly doing workout videos in my bedroom.
Throughout high school I’d *always* wear a jacket to hide my body because, well, I was ashamed.⁣
No matter how much I didn’t eat, went to the gym, no matter how many weight watchers meetings I went to... I never could fit into the jeans my friends were wearing. I never had a flat stomach. I had stretch marks on my arms and legs. My body didn’t look like what TV shows and magazines were telling me it should look like.
I adopted many versions of disordered eating in high school in college and even through my twenties but every time I was losing weight I was getting praise from every where I looked, so I kept going.⁣
👉🏼But what I didn’t realize then was that it just wasn’t how I was built. I wasn’t naturally a size 10 (my smallest ever) and it wasn’t healthy or sustainable to eat 750 calories a day and workout 6 days a week.⁣
Diet culture and the over exposure of photoshopped bodies with 6 pack abs will and has done this to all of us. Our society has told us that THIN = HAPPY for so long.⁣
But guess what? Here I am. This is me today, with anything but a flat stomach. I’m a size 18/20 and if you would have said that to me even 3 or 4 years ago I would have crumbled with shame.⁣
I’m 10 months postpartum from baby #2, and 3.5 years postpartum from baby #1. Both pregnancies caused me to gain a significant amount of weight. I’ve also been dealing with PPA and PPD and am currently on medication that has made me a little extra fluffy as well.⁣
Would losing these extra pounds be great? Sure.⁣
But for the first time in my life regardless of how big or small I am, I don’t hate what I see when I look in the mirror. And I’m not placing my value on my looks or a number on a scale.⁣
Looks do NOT dictate happiness, success, or your health.
I refuse to let the massive under-representation of my body type in the media make me feel any sort of shame, and you should too - whether or not you’ve carried a child.
Head to @katiemcrenshaw for her postpartum story next. #this_is_postpartum