"That's just not my style...."

“Ugh no, that’s just not my style.”
“My body just wasn’t made for those!”
“I cannot justify spending money on myself until I lose the weight.”
“It doesn’t look right on me.”

Clothing is one thing, but here’s another thought. It wasn’t until I was hanging out with my friend @roseybeeme at the beginning of the year - and she was using a beautiful handbag - that it hit me. I’d never seen a fat woman embracing such “thin ideal” aesthetic before.

This broke me. Since then I’ve been sitting with that. Realizing so much of what I allow or don’t allow myself to do, purchase, wear, and love have always been heavily dictated by what my body looks like.

Is money a factor? Absolutely. But let’s dig a little deeper - this concept goes beyond finances.

I bought this bag for myself when I passed a milestone that I worked very hard for with my brand/business. It was the first time I’d ever forced myself to acknowledge that I was worthy in this sense — the months of research I did to find the one that felt right, the intricate measuring of bag size, the late night texts with friends like Ro to help me decide on which one... these were all huge steps towards this overall notion of respect towards myself.

These non-impulsive, more intentional actions are so much more rewarding then rushing through everything.

When I got the bag I wouldn’t open it for weeks. It took me a while to realize that I am a fat woman, and I can in fact embrace the same aesthetic as my smaller bodied friends.

I’m not saying you should go buy a designer bag (but if you do, I highly rec buying used) but try to apply this in your life in all ways.

Don’t settle. Take your time. Be intentional.

ps: 6 months later and I still look at this bag with joy. It’s the only purse I use daily and is still in amazing condition. But beyond that, it reminds me of what I intentionally did for me. For myself and no one else. Sounds simple but honestly not sure I‘d ever done this before.

pss: generally speaking, quality over quantity when it comes to everyday staples in your life. For trendier less worn items, quality can be sacrificed (in my opinion).

What are some other ways we can be intentional for ourselves?