"Suck In Your Stomach"

Spent most of my life sucking in my stomach, sitting up straighter, and always pulling my shirt to hide my stomach. Can't ever remember a time that I didn't feel ashamed of my body, even at my most disordered and lowest weight.

Unresolved shame can trigger depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and tons of mental health issues. This is why we must change the way we talk, the way we speak, and the way we treat ourselves and our bodies. It's never okay to talk about someone else's body and I'm not sure why it ever was "okay" to begin with.

There are specific moments I remember that certainly assisted in developing the feeling of being ashamed of my body. When my babysitter told me I shouldn't be wearing shorts that short with the size of my thighs at age 6. When I overheard basically every female conversation on the TV, in real life, everywhere talking about how "bad" they were being for enjoying their lunch, or how to get a flat stomach in 30 days, or how Susie shouldn't be wearing that swimsuit because of her size. I would lie awake at night and pray to "thin out" because I truly believed that would be the only way I'd be respected as a woman. I watched men (and women) praise females for losing tons of weight. I watched The Biggest Loser and cheered on these contestants, thinking "finally, they're going to live a happy life now." If only I'd known how wrong I was, and how wrong everyone was. Sometimes I wonder if I still would have had body image issues and mental health issues if it weren't for shame.

If you're still breaking through fatphobia, it's a process. But at the very least, watch what you say. Not only what you say to yourself, about yourself, but to and about others.

Anyway, here I am wearing jeans and showing my tummy instead of covering it up.

What my stomach looks like, my size, and my weight doesn’t show you healthy I am, how kind I am, or how smart and successful I am.

It's your body, it's supposed to change, and it's the only you've got. Respect yo'self.

I don't know about you, but I needed to remind myself of this today. We are incredible human beings who are worth so much more than what we look like.