So I've been on this journey for awhile. Like, my whole life.

And I've been blogging for a little less than a year, which has allowed me to see all sides of people on the internet and really think about how I view myself. I've been seeing lots of mixed messages in the media about what it means to love yourself and what is considered "real" and "beautiful."

Here's the thing that we need to understand.

Being BODY POSITIVE simply means that you're thinking, talking, and treating your body in a positive way.

It doesn't matter what size or shape you are. It doesn't matter if you've had plastic surgery or not. And it really doesn't matter if you're killing yourself in the gym or taking a nap at home instead.

The one thing that matters is this: You've GOT to take care of your self. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

This means that:

YES, you need to make healthy choices when eating that will nourish, heal, and FUEL your body.

YES, you should be exercising. Your body needs it.

And YES, you need to engage in healthy relationships (with yourself first, then others. How can you love others if you don't love yourself?).

This doesn't mean that in order to love yourself you have to be thin. Or vice versa. There is an entire pro-anorexia movement happening in our society right now that is mind-blowing. Like I said before, if you're skinny, that's great. And if you're curvy, average, not curvy, overweight, fat, you name it --- that's great. But are you TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF? If you are... FANTASTIC!

I am not over here trying to judge anyone. Just like I'm not judging the size 18 plus model who eats healthy and works out a few times a week. And just like I'm not judging my friend who is naturally thin 98 pounds and makes healthy food and exercise choices.

Who am I talking about then? I'm talking about the people that break my heart when I hear their stories. The women who are part of these anorexic/eating disorder movements because they are so mentally obsessed with being thin. Or the women who eat their way to happiness or to deal with stress (btw I am NO stranger to emotional eating --- a topic for another day). The friends I have that drive themselves crazy over trying to fit into a pair of jeans because of the number on the tag. And the younger generations who look up to us on social media.

There is a difference between someone who uses something like food and sleep to deal with other issues, like depression and anxiety. And someone who is actively taking care of themselves and their health.

Body positivity is about TAKING. CARE. OF. YOURSELF. The journey to SELF LOVE starts here.

I don't care if you're a size 4 or a size 24. We've all got insecurities and it's time to stop excluding people from this community for not being "fat enough" or "flawed enough." Do you know how many women have reached out to me who are a size 6 and didn't feel like their insecurities were valid enough?

Like... what? VALID? Listen you guys.

Don't like what you see in the mirror? That's fine. We've all been there. It was devastating to me after I had my daughter that my body was completely different. I've spent the last two years on a whole new journey to loving my body, and my self. The first year, I was in denial. I pretended to love what I saw, but to be honest with you I could barely look myself in the mirror.

So, I'm writing this post because I want you to know that I am in the same boat. We are all in this together. We all have things we don't love about our bodies. But it's time to stop letting these things rule our lives, and it's time to stop holding yourself to someone else's standards.

Time to take control of our lives. I was talking to a friend today and she reminded me that most of people's depression and anxiety stems from the fact that they aren't living up to their full potential. You know you can DO better. You know you can BE better. But maybe you aren't trying hard enough.

This has been me SO MANY TIMES in my life. And you know what? I've always been a different size and weight. Always the same insecurities. Always trying to be a certain NUMBER on the scale or a certain size in jeans. You've gotta give that up and start focusing on BEING HEALTHY. Quit playing the numbers game, I swear it will change your life!

Ok, so now you're ready to take control of your life and BE YOUR BEST YOU but you don't know how to begin.

Well, here's the thing. You're the boss. It's up to you.

For some, this means they need to commit to a new nutrition plan and exercise routine. For others, this means going to bed on time and not eating out all week. YOU decide what YOU need to be your best self.

The journey to self love is a long one. I have days where I'm not even close to loving myself, and you'll continue to have those too.

But it's the in-between moments that count.

The moments where you decide to actually LOOK YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR and appreciate what and who you are. The non-scale victories like actually doing something for yourself (us mama's struggle with this one) or cutting out sugar for an entire day.

Take it a day at a time.

To me, being body positive means I'm striving to love myself more and more each day. And some days, it's a struggle. There are still things that I don't love about my body. I still struggle with confidence. And yes, I am often self conscious. But the ART of BODY POSITIVITY is LETTING IT ALL GO.

LET.

IT.

GO.

Move on. Take control of your life and know that there are way more important things going on in the world besides the size you're wearing in jeans today. Start by taking care of yourself, and soon that person you want so badly to see in that mirror will start staring back at you.

By the way, this is not a swimsuit style I would ever have chosen. But I took a step outside of my comfort zone and I kinda love it. You should try that method sometime, it's good for the soul.

Swimwear courtesy of Eloquii (I'm wearing a 16 top and 18 bottom, for reference). This swimsuit comes in size 12-28!

SHOP THE SWIM SUIT HERE: