It’s been a really long time since I just wrote. Not about clothes, not about a specific product… just about life. I am someone who really needs to take the entire month of January to reflect. And this year, I was super intentional about it. Whether you’ve been reading and watching my posts for a long time or you’re new around here, perhaps you’ll be interested in reading my current thoughts about all the things in life. And if not, that’s okay too — I am truly doing this for myself. (But I do love you and appreciate you reading).

WORK

2022 was a year of figuring things out. I started the year off inspired, but I had no idea how I was going to make what I wanted to happen, happen with this brand of mine. A few curveballs were thrown my way, and although devastating at the time… in retrospect, it’s how we started growing and moving forward. I care deeply and passionately about this blog, and so as you can imagine I also feel that way about anyone who I’ve let in to this circle. In 2022 we saw several employee changes and I can see now that it’s what needed to happen to move forward. I can confidently say that I feel that our foundation team at House of Dorough is complete, and I feel that 2023 will be a year of growth and sustainability for us. When I started this blog almost 6 years ago, I had hopes and dreams but never imagined I’d be able to bring them to life. When I realized the work load would be too much for me to carry on my own, as well as manage a household and be the kind of mom I want to be, I knew I’d have to begin investing my income back into the company. I just started actually making consistent paychecks mid-way through 2022, and I expect us to be a fully sustainable profiting business by the end of 2023. I continue to carry the mission forward that I want to build a brand here that empowers communities of women. Size diversity in representation across media platforms is a huge passion of mine, and if I do this the right way I think years from now we will have impacted so many women who never saw themselves as worthy of a new outfit, or worthy at any size. Anyone reading this knows, unless you’re born a millionaire you can’t just dive into a passion project like a blog without monetizing it somehow. Fashion is an artform for me, and I truly believe its an expression of yourself and helps you connect inward with who you are. When you don’t exist in a body that is represented much, that inner trust within yourself is broken and it has a domino effect of sorts. It’s really important to me that we continue to give trustworthy, honest reviews on clothing sizing, style and fit. We do have to monetize it, however, which is why you see most of our reviews posted through platforms like LTK. LTK has been a huge reason why we have even made it this far, so if you’ve ever shopped from our links… just know, it truly matters. This year I’ve promoted both of my team members to full-time, salaried positions which is a risk, of course. But it’s a risk I have to take, and I cannot wait to see where we this year takes us, as a business. I am also SO incredibly proud of the work we’ve created and how far we’ve come as a team. I am so thankful for my HOD girls!

MOTHERHOOD

Whew. Where to even start?! I cannot believe my baby is now 4, and my oldest baby is 7. I remember being up at 2am, with my youngest strapped to me, building my website and linking try ons. If you are personally in my life or have been following closely in my IG stories, you know that we had a lot going on with Emaline in 2022. Things have never been mentally/emotionally easy with her, but I don’t think that’s something we expect as parents. She is highly intelligent and creative, as well as cognitively way advanced. This has translated into a tougher time through life during these formative years, as everything she feels she feels VERY strongly. Kindergarten started and we slowly watched her lose her self esteem, but by 1st grade she really had become a different person. She lost her spark, and was seemingly miserable every single day, panic attacks, meltdowns, you name it. I tried everything I could think of. I even took her on a weeklong beach trip to see if that would help or if I could at least get to the bottom of what was going on with her. Knowing she would be stepping back into the same school environment, though, hindered it from being very productive. It wasn’t until some inappropriate things happened at school and we were forced to pull her and homeschool, that we realized a clearer picture of what was going on. She’s not a kid that always fits in easily, and although there was much more going on that I won’t go into here, that environment was toxic for her. We’ve been navigating all kinds of schools for her to start in the Fall, and she’s currently at a school where everyone is so kind to her, including her teacher. Wes and I both agree we’ve never seen her this happy. Truly. She is thriving. The past few months have been so hard, and so heartbreaking at times. But dang. Watching her come out on the other side of this, while being able to help her navigate everything, is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. Now that we know her more and better than ever, our job as parents is to continue to support her in the ways she needs most. And I know we both feel so honored we get to do that for her. Public school will likely never be an option for both of our kids, and that was a tough pill for us both to swallow as we both went to public schools our entire lives. But we will figure it out, and our faith is getting us through. Our sweet Pearl Girl is thriving at her current school, thank goodness. She is going through a major developmental leap right now and we are seeing sides of her we haven’t ever seen before. She is so incredibly sensitive and empathetic towards others. She tries to do a good job with whatever task she’s given. And in 2022, she started writing her name and I am still so proud of her for that (lol). She, like her sister, is also extremely creative and loves to draw. Something that fascinates me about PJ is that she is super capable of entertaining herself. As with work, 2022 was a whole lotta figuring things out in parenthood. That never goes away, of course, but in 2023 I intend to pour myself into our kids even further to ensure they get the right foundation during these formative years. Self esteem is so incredibly important. If children don’t learn how to trust and believe in themselves at this young age, I fear for what that will bring in the middle school and high school years… especially this day in age. We truly have to think about things differently now.

MARRIAGE

We are coming up on our 10 year wedding anniversary, and honestly I cannot believe it. I am not going to sit here and say that our relationship and marriage has been “easy” — but gosh dangit y’all. There is never a doubt in my mind that I am with who I’m supposed to be with. I’ve been working on communicating my needs better, which is a struggle for me as I don’t like to ask for help. Fear of rejection, for sure… lifelong issue I have had. In 2022, we had some pivotal conversations (and of course some arguments) — and we still have arguments. We are 2 completely individual humans that live together, with 2 more tiny humans with their own personalities as well. But why I think it works is because we listen to each other. We respond when a change is needed. We try. We don’t give up. And most of all, we respect each other immensely.

Something I started doing in the beginning of 2022 (that actually stuck!!) are Sunday meetings and calendar planning. I spend a couple of hours planning out the week and we go through it all and loosely plan meal ideas, order groceries, etc. This has been huge for our communication skills with each other, as well. Managing expectations is a huge part of a relationship and I’m not going to pretend that it didn’t take me a very long time to figure that out. Wes has so much patience and grace with me, I truly am so thankful he came into my life (almost 14 years ago)! In 2023, I intend to work hard on showing him my love more. Not just telling him, but really figuring out the ways that make him feel taken care of too. Often times, I feel like I run out of bandwidth between momming and running a business. This year I am trying to prioritize him.

FRIENDSHIPS

This has always been a touchy subject for me. I have struggled my entire life to find friends that I felt like wanted to hang out with me just as much as I wanted to hang out with them. In 2021, we moved to a new area and in 2022 I became very close with some of my neighbors. Being moms with kids around the same age is what started our friendships, but I am so thankful to have found some very down to earth, special people I can call friends that I trust. Of course, I have my high school and college besties that I am still super close with, but we live pretty far away from eachother so I don’t see them as often as I’d like to. In 2021/2022 I also had to put more boundaries up, to protect my peace and work on my own healing. I can confidently say that everyone I’ve let in since then is positively contributing to my happiness and life, and that of my family’s. Thankful is an understatement.

TRAVEL

In 2022, we traveled a lot to the beach. I’m happy to say that we will also be traveling the same amount to the beach this year, lol. If you’re new around here, our beach condo is my in'-laws, and it’s in a very low key area of the gulf. It’s so funny because when I first started dating Wes, I told him I hated the beach… haha! At that point, I really did. I didn’t know what I was missing, though. Now, at this stage in my life, the beach truly feels part of me and I miss it when we aren’t there. Again, very thankful for this part of our lives.

We are also planning some work-related travel and I do plan on continuing to travel for modeling. I’m excited to be sharing more travel on our platforms this year!

MENTAL & OVERALL HEALTH/RECOVERY

Right now, things are good. As most of you know, I have ADHD and was diagnosed 17 years ago. I have found, especially when momming or building a business, that it really does effect every single aspect of my life. But I have managed to thrive in my ADHD and I love myself for it. I take my meds every morning at the same time, and often use CBD to calm my stress or anxiety. I do still struggle with anxiety, mainly as things relate to my kids and their safety. In 2023, I intend to start therapy again to help me be a better person for myself, my husband, and my kids.

In 2021, I had stomach surgery to remove a hernia and I feel totally recovered from that now but it took a while. I struggle with hip pain frequently though, and am looking to start a chiropractic plan. I still do not believe body size is the cause of your joint pain, fight me on it go ahead. I am at a really good place with my recovery and with my relationship with food, so much so that I am actually able to start diving in to what kinds of food may be responsible for causing me pain and discomfort, from a neutral standpoint. This is huge for me. I’ve noticed people commenting on my looks and my body size lately, which I’d like to remind everyone that it’s not good practice to comment on how people look… because you never know what they’re going through. Had this been me 4-5 years ago, it would have sent me into an addictive spiral where I was obsessing over every single inch and pound. For me, I don’t know what I weigh and prefer to never know that number. I know how my clothes fit, and how my mind may percieve what I look like but I don’t obsess over those things. I use drastic body changes as a tool to figure out what’s happening with my body. A great example of this that actually helped me progress in my healing was in 2021, when I noticed (not judged, just noticed) that my jeans were really tight around my stomach and it felt like a very quick and drastic change. My rings stopped fitting on my fingers and overall I felt inflamed. Had I assumed it was just weight gain and I needed to just lose weight, I would have ended up really really sick. Turns out, it was my IUD birth control. Once that was out, nearly all of my inflammation went away. Once I realized that, I went to the doc about my suspected hernia and once that was repaired, it was like I could move my body again finally. Had I had weight loss at top of mind, things would not have ended well - my hernia surgery was extremely urgent and had been affecting my overall health in ways I could have never imagined.

Besides going off of my IUD and taking care of myself medically, I’ve been on a journey to prioritize my mental health: this includes, healing my relationship with food. Note, part of that recovery process is keeping every kind of food you used to restrict in the house and giving yourself no rules. Fascinating what happens when you learn to trust yourself again and no longer feel the need to restrict or binge. Noting here also, I am still not recovered from my exercise addiction and I hope to slowly start back into it 2023. It is one of my favorite anxiety healers, and I really do miss it. My biggest problem there is that it’s a slippery slope for me with control, and it can easily start to control my day to day life and that is not what I want.

INTENTIONS FOR THIS YEAR

Over the past month, I’ve done a ton of reflecting. A ton of planning. A ton of pausing. A ton of listening. A ton of praying. A ton of trusting.

The word that keeps showing up in my vocabulary as I am doing any task lately it seems, is: SUSTAINABLE.

My intentions this year are to sustain my family, my business, my heart and soul.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for opening up your heart and mind to my words. This was really therapeutic to put all of my thoughts and reflections over the past month into one place.

I am so excited for the rest of 2023 and to see what it has in store for all of us.

What are some of your intentions this year? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to connect with you!