I finally get it. I finally know now that I don’t have to live in a constant state of chaos, feeling like I’m drowning all the time. I finally know that I’ll be able to look back at this time with peace and happiness, knowing I was able to enjoy these times with my kids.

I have this ability to put on a strong, confident face and pretend everything is great. But the truth is this: I’ve been struggling.

Since PJ was born, I buckled up and told myself that everything I was feeling and going through was just part of being a parent of two kids and that I just had to get through it.

But it got to be too much. I started to get angry. Resentful. And feeling like I couldn’t breathe most days. I started blaming myself, like maybe I had taken on too much work.

Maybe I didn’t have the mental capacity to handle two kids. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for motherhood like I thought. Maybe I just had to be miserable for a few years until things got easier.

I’m so glad I got help. I cannot explain enough to you how much my life has changed in two months. The only reason I finally caved and gave meds a shot was because I started seeing other women on social media open up about it and sharing their experiences.

And for the first time in my life, I realized it was okay to not be okay. It is okay to not be superwoman. It is okay to get a little help.

I started taking medication and after a bit, things started becoming clearer and I realized that it wasn’t me all along. It wasn’t that I was overloading myself with work or too many things. Depression, anxiety, ptsd, hormonal changes, stress... these are all things we tend to internalize and it can be so damaging and we don’t even realize it.

Finally, I feel like I am not constantly drowning. I’m more present with my husband and kids than ever (I hope he agrees 🤣). I still have bad days. But they’re fewer and more far between.

My journey with mental health is really just beginning. (Continued in comments)
#mentalhealthawarenessweek