I just left the chiropractor where as I laid there, tears suddenly started streaming down my face.

This week was a lot. For several reasons. And I’m sure it doesn’t help that both of my kids were up at 5am today.

I’ve been navigating a lot of feelings around mom guilt this week. The torn feeling of loving being around them so much but also making sure you get a break - and when you do - you miss them... it’s hard. And then feeling like a bad mom when you get frustrated... it’s exhausting.

But more than that, as I lay there on the chiro table thinking about how far I’ve come in the last month since coming here.... I cried. I cried because it hit me:
I have been living with so much back pain for over a year now and I secretly blamed it on myself and weight I gained. It’s why I procrastinated for so long to get help. Because I secretly didn’t respect myself enough.

I went to my first chiropractor appointment expecting to get lectured about how I needed to exercise and lose weight. But guess what? I didn’t hear any of that at all.

Instead I heard: you’re out of alignment, and I can get you feeling better in a few weeks if you stick with it.

Guess what? It’s been a month and I started getting out of the bed without pain 3 weeks ago. Two weeks ago I started being able to bend over and pick up toys and get up and off the ground without pain.
It wasn’t my weight at all. Looking back, I now remember having joint pain in my back and knees as 100lbs lighter and still blamed myself.

Weight stigma is real, and most times it’s association not causation. You are enough. Quit believing the lies about your weight and instead start working on the relationship with yourself.

I physically feel like I can start to exercise again now without being in constant pain. Funny how that works... 😉

I’m still tearing up as I write this because I’ve just been so subconsciously mean to myself for absolutely no reason.

I need some self care to kick off my weekend. I’ll be sharing more in stories. 🖤